Libra wrote:Let us hope that this was the most painful period of your life, so that you may say that at least it is behind you for the rest of it.
Oh do i wish this was true. A father whose life revolved around his children, looses them... not even allowed to talk to them... that is a pain that will only end when there is a nock on the door.... and it's them saying "Daddy, I'm home." many a night I go to bed crying... heck, commericals make me cry. Especially the Friskies commericals, because the boys loved watching those cats. And their laughter was so wonderful. And i miss that so very much. all the videos Ihave of them, are old digitals that didn't have sound. so i can't have that wonder memory strenghtened by watching them. though watching them running around the house with a string so their kittens could chase after them makes me smile and cry. it's the highlight of my day. I turn my computer on, and i see their loving faces. i have a picture of them by my side so they are the first thing i see in the morning, and the last i see before i finally fall asleep.
it's a pain i would never wish on anyone. for it's a pain without end, without repreve. it does not fade, but grows as the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years tick pass.
So take if from my pain. if you have your loved ones, your children near... hold them to you dearly, do nothing to harm them, or make them sad. for your children are your most precious and wonderful of possessions. They are the one thing you can never live without. for God is always with you, even when you don't acklowege him. He's there waiting for you to ask for his strength. but even with that strength added to yours... you still miss your children. and you still greive for being a lesser being for them not to be in your life.
England has no rights for a father, even when the children are American... and their mother took them there illegally. he has no recompense for aid. believe me, i've tried since 2009 to get just the right to see them. and it's all in her hands and power to allow me or not to see or talk to them.
So love your children. hold them close and never forget that there is a broken man who misses his children so much. that he even misses changing the smelliest and nastiest of nappies. That he misses reading Curious Geroge to his baby monkeys as he gets them ready for bed.
Love them. because you still can. and all i can do, it tell you have fortunate you are. and warn you of the pain of loosing them. and i cant let anyone else feel this pain. love your children. please hug them as i wish i could hug mine. tell them you love them as I wish i could tell mine.
this is the pain that doesn't go away. i beg you, don't end up like me. you don't want this burden. but i would take this burden for an enterinity if it ment no one else went through it.